We were all duped that men are always happy, it is only women who can be bitter. We forget about men who are as bitter as badly brewed beer. Men full of raw anger they could tear a hippopotamus apart. And you can always tell these men apart.
Here is a simple guide.
1. They drink like sailors and sleep around with girls of different ages, sizes and complexion.
2)He is repulsively poor, than your poorest church mouse. Can’t afford himself some decent clothes, some well-furnished house. But he is ever quick to call women gold-diggers, even it is not his money that they chop.
3)He tells and retells a story of that one woman whom he was to marry but she ate his money and ran.
4)He has sired many children like the sand at the shores of the Indian ocean but doesn’t know how they are doing.
5)His temper is shorter than his previous relationship. He gets into fist fights all the time. Ooh! And the number of times he has thrown beer bottles at people! God forbid.
6)He fears the VCT more than he fears an assassination attempt on his life.
7)He brings random girls he met at the club home.
8)He believes he is better and successful because he drives the best car, has expensive clothes, shoes and has a big house. He has a habit of talking dismissively about marriage and fatherhood.
9)He sees women as extortionists, and bandits on heels. He says “siwezi pea mwanamke pesa zangu.” As though all women are beggars stretching their hands for alms from him.
10)The joys of courtship are lost on him. He prefers to take a woman out, lay her in expensive hotels but not bring her to his house. He confidently and cockily says no woman is allowed in his house. As though his house is an eighth wonder of the world.
11)He loathes all women who reject him. They can never be friends. He is still angry that one of them come to his house and refused to have sex with such an amazing piece of work like him.
12)He believes he is smarter than Steve Jobs because he knows how to analyze bets. When he is broke (which is all the time), he can correctly analyze a bet and win. He then buys foodstuffs, since he escaped sleeping hungry by a whisker, and smiles at how brilliant he is.
13)He wears cheap clothes with a cheap cologne. He drinks very cheap beer. But still believes he is well off because he goes to the bar daily.
14)He is always chasing that deal that will see him making a million in a few days.
15)He is as jealous as a co-wife of other people’s progress. It doesn’t matter if they are men or women.
16)Even at age 30, he still blames his relatives, friends or government for his shortcomings.
17)No matter how sweet the music is, he can never step out and dance to good music or nod his head. He only drinks beer, complains of how the price is high and sneers at all the beautiful ladies around.
18)He asks for nudes all the time and proclaims himself the Messiah in bedroom matters. When given the real nudes, he performs dismally.
19)He is passionate about fake marriage deals. During the December holiday, he asks his friends to hook him with a lady so that she can be his fake spouse.
20)He has never outgrown boyish tastes in looking for a romantic partner. While rich men with sculptured bodies and lots of money don’t discriminate women and can date older women, he is still stuck at how many sexual partners she has.