Adults Need Sex Education Urgently, Here is Why

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It is funny how when you are young (below legal age), you imagine adults know things about sex. Until you become an adult and start experiencing that side of life, you realize a lot of people don’t know a lot of things.

In conversations around sex education, the target audience is always young people. Which is fair because truly, they don’t know. Especially in a world full of predators and sex offenders, the earlier sex education is delivered, the better. Many of us have stories of things that were done to us when we were young; things that we only realized were wrong and criminal when we obtained knowledge much later. Things that we could have reported and hopefully, get protection. I say hopefully because this world is fucked up, man!  You’d be surprised how many parents would opt to protect the ‘family name’ than protect their own child.

The more I experience the world, the more I am convinced that sex education is just as necessary for the adult population as it is for the youngins. We are just growing older but maintaining bad behaviour largely fuelled by a refusal to learn and audacity.

You are well over 25 yet you refuse to learn and understand the concept of consent. You believe because someone is swooning over you then you are entitled to their bodies. Your excuse for violating them is, ‘why did they express interest if they didn’t want to go all the way?’ They must have wanted it, right? You believe that consent is irreversible. Look at your ID and tell us how old you are again.

Glorious in our femininity yet we believe sex only exists as a service to the men in our lives. That we do not deserve to explore and enjoy it. That if he finishes, that’s it. Mission accomplished. We do not ask to be pleased, to be loved properly.

You have lived this earth long enough that the government no longer considers you a youth, yet you still do not understand nor are you willing to end rape culture. You think it is a term coined by feminists to bring men down. You think a group of boys catcalling a young girl and harassing her is warranted because ‘boys will be boys’. You believe a young girl defiled in her home by a relative deserved it because why didn’t her mother not teach her to dress properly? Your pubic hair is almost all white, yet here you are.

Just look at us. Calling ourselves adults, yet we think the vagina grows wider the more it receives penis action. We confidently look people in their eyes and ask for their body counts, because apparently the fewer sex partners they’ve had the more ‘pure’ for us they are? No? Those who practice these shenanigans, what purpose does it serve, pray tell? Nothing? I knew it. Just questions fuelled by the refusal to learn and audacity.

How old are we again? Ah. Old enough to be entrusted with a voters’ card. Yet we shy away from buying condoms because what will the chemist think of me? Will he think I have sex? HA. You, with overgrown hair on your armpits. You wait for all customers to leave before you whisper ‘give me condom’ quick.

See us. Glorious in our femininity yet we believe sex only exists as a service to the men in our lives. That we do not deserve to explore and enjoy it. That if he finishes, that’s it. Mission accomplished. We do not ask to be pleased, to be loved properly. We think those who are open to sexual exploration are disgusting and sinners. We whisper about them and shame them in our secret groups. We are soon turning 30. All age and no wisdom.

I could go on and on, but examples of how adults desperately need sex education are too many to fit in one article. You see those many boards and committees the government keeps creating unnecessarily? Now here is a worthy cause that needs an urgent address. Adults need help, we cannot continue treating ourselves normally.

The syllabus will be long and wide, it will take time, it will require a lot of learning and unlearning. It will require us to get out of our little boxes of ignorance and be teachable for once.

That audacity that we have? Here is where we need to put it into practice. Have the audacity to do better.

 

 

 

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Winsome Osoro

Well put article, and comes at a time of the Corona pandemic which has forced quarantine on couples who never had time for sex, because they were busy making money out there. Now with the lockdown they are forced to look at each other and express their inability or inadequacy in bed matters. For the single ladies, many have come out to address the lack of it because their partners are nowhere to be seen. However, there are those who are quietly dying from this ‘dry spell’ and won’t utter a word for fear of being labelled as mannerless. But… Read more »