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Ever Met a Black Russian?

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Let’s be honest: green tea is horrendous. Now I know why they say jealousy is green. That drink tastes like stewed jealousy seasoned with Trump’s tweets. There’s even a joke that if you never want to have guests again serve them green tea when they visit. There is nothing you can do to convince me that someone genuinely loves this drink and anyone willingly taking it is possibly related to Beelzebub.

Now, when it comes to drinks, vodka is green tea. First, it has a distinctively pungent smell. It serves as a warning. You are not to let it anyway close to your mouth. If you ignore this warning it fires a second shot by assaulting your taste buds with a horrid flavor. The third shot is fired when you do not remember how the night went and have a hangover that’s pregnant with hangover twins. So, I usually stay away from vodka. Rather, I flee when it’s mentioned.

But recently I tried something new. A cocktail made with vodka.

Now, here enters the Black Russian. Don’t let the name fool you, there is nothing racist about it.

The black Russian is a combination of Vodka and coffee liqueur. For those not sure what coffee liqueur is, it’s the likes of Kahlua. The cocktail comes in a short glass, usually reserved for whiskeys and old fashions. With my hate for vodka, I was a bit skeptical about ordering this drink. You know how age sneaks up on you? Then you finally have to settle? Not like getting married and having kids but settling down on a drink. Any decent person has their go-to beer, hard liquor, cocktail, and wine. Mine is a long island. But that is a story for another day.

I tried the Black Russian and for once in a long time, I did not regret that decision. The vodka pairs quite well with the coffee liqueur. The strong coffee flavor tames the fiery vodka fumes and the sweetness drowns out its flavor. The drink is surprisingly sweet. The first sip has you actually questioning whether it has vodka. You might be tempted to ask the bartender to let you watch him make it.

But, there is a downside with sweet cocktails. They. Are. Potent. You never know when you’ve had too much and one turns into three. Now, remember at the back of your mind the Black Russian has vodka? While the taste and smell are masked, its potency is not. You will have your head spinning a few drinks in, enjoying the buzz but one thing that will definitely happen is you will have a nasty hangover. So stick to one or two if you must.

My rating of the drink is 7/10. I had mine at The Blues Restaurant which is a cozy pub in the CBD with great service and surprisingly affordable. The Black Russian went for KES 390. Not bad for a drink that almost changed my mind on vodka. If I am being completely honest I have actually been back not once, not twice just to have a secret affair with the Black Russian. But let’s keep that between us. Would not want to upset the long island, she is, after all, quite feisty.

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