How to dress like a man

How to dress like a man
Reading Time: 3 minutes

I hate men who dress fancy.

I hate men who dress fancy.

You know. Crispy suits and ties. Or the metrosexuals with their pedicured and manicured nails, well-trimmed hair, beards cut like a royal manicured lawn, smelling all nice.

I despise such men. Always, they strike me as shallow. And often they are. Visit them in their apartment and they are stricter than a germaphobe woman in their expectations. You will have to act so rigidly around them because anything can easily offend them.

Men are not supposed to be overly groomed. They just need to shower and cover their nudity appropriately.

Dressing well and smelling nice offers no advantage in the dating pool over a badly dressed man who has money.

Money is the bottom line in the game. Everything else does not count. Six pack, fancy clothes, good car and such count for zilch. And I wish more men knew this basic fact.

Apart from bankers, lawyers, and politicians, whose career still demands the British tradition of suits, the rest of us should always keep it simple. Besides, men who wear suits are always the lying, shrewd elite who use the suits to camouflage their wicked ways of life. Show me a truthful banker, a decent lawyer or an honest politician and I will show a virgin commercial sex worker.

If you judge people by how they dress, then you will mostly get it wrong. Conmen in Nairobi are some of the most smartly dressed who talk in the most eloquent Queen’s language. Yet both men and women fall for this.

Real men dress simply. Personally, I have some leather boots, a dozen khaki pants, the odd jeans, and a few polo shirts and I get by pretty cozy and well. Most decent men also keep it simple. They have their regular visit to the barber, have a young woman or men who supply them with good comfortable shoes and clothes and don’t care so much about fashion.

Real men who will grow to be rich, own big companies hardly dress well. Check on Bill Gates. Mark Zuckerberg, or even the IKEA founder, the late, Ingvar Kamprad (a billionaire who bought second-hand clothes). Or when was the last time you saw Richard Branson in some labeled suit?

 

They hate ties like every sub-Saharan Africa should. There is no reason for wearing a tie whatsoever, what with the heat! I can’t trust a man who in sweltering heat can still don the ugly rope around his neck. It indicates a poor sense of judgment. We are born to be free and anyone who insists in imprisoning themselves deserves all the misery that befalls them.

Real men avoid fashion fads. Whereas I admit that there are some cool ‘African’ clothes especially tops made famous by Nollywood that have become popular in weddings and even in the streets, I think it is beneath men to fall for such pads. Men need to dress anonymously, not in a way that is trendy.

Here is why. I have asked women the kind of man they want, and the chorus is the same as it was in the 12th century. They want men who are hunters. Men who bring the bacon home. They want sweaty armpits. Naked and raw ambition. Men who are busy. You can’t be busy and have time to wear a well-ironed pink shirt. You need clothes you slide into after a quick cold shower and off you go.

A woman who knows what she wants would rather pick a dirty unkempt man who provides than a gym freak who dresses nicely but is broke. I have done some studies and the neatest, best well-toned men are usually too broke for life. Women want them for the short time.

Real men who will grow to be rich, own big companies hardly dress well. Check on Bill Gates. Mark Zuckerberg, or even the IKEA founder, the late, Ingvar Kamprad (a billionaire who bought second-hand clothes). Or when was the last time you saw Richard Branson in some labeled suit?

So, to be rich, to think big, you must remove certain distractions from your life. Don’t be uptight. So, drop the suit. Drop the tie. Pick clothes that give you freedom and room to breathe. Drop the briefs for boxers. Go for cotton over nylon. Drop shirts with stupid white collars. Don’t ever wear a bow-tie or suspenders (you look clownish).

Dress to cover your nudity and keep it decent. Let the money speak for you.

 

 

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Nairobi

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