Jack Daniels: Why Americans Should never Make Whiskey

Jack Daniels: Why Americans Should never Make Whiskey
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When you’re tired from a short week and it’s only Wednesday you need something to take the edge off. Kawaida it is a beer. Cold. Sweating. Neck looking like something Dracula would bite into.

But sometimes you have a few extra shillings and had an equally extra hard week. So, whiskey is the poison of choice. Enter, Jack Daniel’s that will be referred to as JD in this review. A hyped drink that looks worth its salt. In the whiskey industry, it might be one of the most famous ones. An American drink, fancy looking and with an attitude sitting in that bottle that most men can’t decipher.

  In my opinion, Jack is an overrated whiskey. They say it is from Tennessee, but it might as well be distilled in Kawangware in a metal hut with a tin lamp. It doesn’t go down smooth. Not unless you have coke and ice because it fights all the way down. Why people love it? Hype. Jack brings to the table an understated class. Its price fag carries with it some hubbub that only a few whiskeys carry. It is a choice drink for up comings with a few loose thousands to spare. You might not be fond of it sharing cabinet space with single malts or other blends of a higher caliber. It is an Instagram story drink. Worthy of a one night show off and then it disappears into oblivion. 

It is time the whiskey world came together and decided that American’s probably cannot make whiskey for shit. They have kick ass burgers and fast food restaurants. They do make mean muscle cars. But when it comes to the trappings of booze, they got the short end of the stick. They should do to whiskey what they did to wine, ignore it. Because humor me, have you ever heard of American wine?

Back to Jack. Hehe

Do I like it? Yes.

It stings like broken promises that I’ve lived with my entire life. Also when on the table it sits like a nice unsolicited invite for pretty damsels. It is the hunk with little to no education that hits the gym and has mad picture editing skills. What did that judge call him? Make a version of a slay queen? That one.

The taste is, well, homeless. It doesn’t sit on your tongue for shit. It is restless. It feels like it wants to go down your throat as fast as possible to get you drunk. Like it has something to hide. Put in ice and you have a restless homeless person on your tongue. After a few doubles though you mellow into it. It tires you into submission and you love it. Why? You’ll never know. It is just a drink that stripped off the marketing around it, is basic. Consider it a wet wipe to a well-made-up face. The stark reality is daunting. But you’ll do it again. Because if not for the edge what else do you live for? 

However, Jack has an older brother, more, pricier called the gentleman jack. A bit out of my price bracket but one I’d love to try. It might try to stand up for its younger brother prove that not everyone in the family is a black sheep. 

Chances are it is the same and chances are it is completely different. Could be full bodied. Could have a smashing personality. It could also carry proof that American’s can do whiskey.

Back to Jack.

Apart from an Instagram appeal, Jack Daniels is a room whiskey. Not for select guests. There’s nobody of spice or vanilla or old wood flavors that hang in the background like hood gangs. Most of the whiskey feels artificial. Drink it but don’t appreciate it is my motto with the drink. Jack is like a nonturbo Subaru. Looks like it can race. Carries a reputation but when off the line it lags behind. There’s much they can do with their first taste impression.  

Many might try to come at me for this. My only advice would be to upgrade their tastes. JD only has a distant honey taste that can be ignored. But the one thing you can’t ignore is that if you want a fit in, it is a drink that gets you there, lifts your social status and looks good

PS:  I had mine at Mojo’s on a Wednesday so if you are an old skool jam are your joint from when Shaggy still had a bad boy rep and Aliyah was still breathing seduction then you are in good hands here. It is not as crowded as on weekends.  

Parting shot

For a social status boost, JD is the drink for you. Don’t do it for the taste or flavor. 


PS: Views expressed here are those of a reviewer, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Nairobi Cool. 

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