Lessons from Unfuck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life by Gary Bishop

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You see a book titled Unfuck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life, and it speaks directly to you. Anyone who knows me knows I exist in my head, and they know how much that cripples me.

I toss things over and over in my mind, thinking of possible outcomes (mostly negative) and end up with the perfect excuse not to take action. You know, if I let this guy in, he will most definitely ghost me, and it’s already a horror show under my bed. If I take this course, I will fail because I’ve never been good at accounting. If I start this business, the economy will collapse, and it will all have been for nothing. 

When I saw the title, it was like that moment at the beginning of the year when the pastor declares that “This will be your year!”

It was a perfect message with perfect timing. If you’re an overthinker or have trouble getting out of your head, here are a few assertions from Gary Bishop to get you going:

PS: For this to work, you have to understand the power of language and the influence of your subconscious. 

  1.   “I am willing.”

You may not be lazy, unmotivated, or a procrastinator. You may just be unwilling. If you’re not willing to change something, no amount of energy in the world will get you to do it. Cue the cliché: Where there is a will, there is a way. If you’re willing, you can tackle the difficulties that arise along your journey and learn what you need to move forward.  

If you can’t find the will, ask yourself what you’re unwilling to put up with. Are you willing to stick with a friend that keeps putting you down? Whether you answer “Yes, I am willing” or No, I am not willing,” you will know what to do next.

  1.   “I am wired to win.”

Bishop argues that even when you think you’re losing, you are winning. Confusing? Well, most of the time we’re failing, we are sabotaging ourselves based on our beliefs about our limitations. We are winning because we are creating situations that assert our doubts. 

What’s important here is to understand that your brain is wired to win. You need to fix those limiting beliefs in your subconscious that lead you to win at the wrong things. 

  1.   “I got this”

Things will not always go your way. You may have the perfect plan but still, land flat on your face. And try as you may, you cannot compartmentalize all your problems. The poison will seep into your relationships, workplaces, and you’ll find yourself yelling at mama mboga for no apparent reason. 

Through this assertion, you put your problems into perspective. Chances are if you’re reading this post, you enjoy some abundance in your life, such as access to a smartphone and internet. Your problems are probably not as big as world hunger and war. True, those issues may have anything to do with you, but they give you a reality-based perspective. 

You got this. You can handle all things life throws your way.

  1.   “I embrace the uncertainty.”

We seek what we know (even if it’s terrible for us) and shun the uncertain because we’re unprepared for it. But you cannot visit any new places if you don’t leave your house. You’re not going to get a new job if you are not sending out those applications. You have to meet new people if you want to make friends or find new love. Embrace the uncertainty, take the risk. It’s the only way your life’s going to be different. 

  1.   “I am not my thoughts; I am what I do.”

This one was a big lesson for me. It has to do with giving your thoughts some legs and letting them walk away from you. Most of your thoughts stem from your subconscious beliefs, which can be limiting. It is hard to control what you think about. You will be minding your business having sex when your mind starts thinking about burgers or the door you may or may not have left unlocked. It is easier to control what you do. At that moment, you’ll probably finish the task at hand and find you didn’t need a burger after all. 

Let your thoughts be. Allow them to say what they need to say, but recognize they are not always your friend. Do, because it gets you in motion and helps you to trust yourself more. 

  1.   “I am relentless.”

More often than not, when you’re working on a goal, you’re going against the current. Against people’s opinions. Against your own subconscious beliefs. Relentlessness is the momentum that keeps you in motion, despite the challenges. Whether you’re feeling it or not, stay relentless and do what needs to be done. After you’ve lost everything, relentlessness is the only thing you have left. Let it drive you. 

  1.   “I expect nothing and accept everything.”

The world does not owe you anything. Be happy, by all means. But you do not deserve happiness more than any other person. You’ve made the perfect business plan, sourced all the required financing, and secured all resources to begin. The product you were pegging your success on falls through, and you’re forced to find alternatives. 

If you expect nothing and accept everything, it will be easier to re-strategize and start again. Expectations will send you into depression faster than you can say ‘sad.’ Realize that it is not your business idea that has failed but your expectation of it. “Plan for victory, learn from defeat.”

PS: The more I read these books, the more I think the Bible had it right all along, but we will talk about that another day.

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