When I was younger, full of dreams and naïve, I had this notion that at some point in life I would have a loving wife.
The kind that adored the ground I walked on. She’d be a great cook, more or less like my mother. We would have two kids, a girl, and a boy – in that order. Live in a nice house and have two cars. Now I want you to concentrate on the two cars. See I wanted to have a car for shagz and a city car.
Of course, the shagz car would be an off-roader, at the time I was in love with the Hilux Surf, a bulky cuboid car. The town car would be a Nissan. I was not a Toyota guy, I think the love for the Nissan came from the old man. We had a B13, also box-shaped, and it ran perfectly. I do not think those times really cared about shit like aerodynamics. So, I always knew this was the way to go. The town car would be mainly for fuel efficiency. Running an off-road in this economy would need at least two scandals, a blood ritual, and a side hustle as a daddy pastor.
You’re probably wondering where I am going with cars.
The Nissan with its fuel efficiency will save you money. Especially if you depend on a monthly salary, right now the month is strife with unfulfilled financial obligations and a need to have a good time.
This is where Black & White comes in. Not the comparison or a TV. But, a nondescript whiskey. Blended Scotch. Where the label portrays it is imported from Ireland, but it could as well be made in the backyard of some shanty in Kariobangi – it would not matter. Your finances are low and so are your options.
When the salary is teetering almost to zero, this is one drink you should get.
Now, if you’re pretentious and you sniff it from a distance and sigh at the end like a tired dog you’ll get notes of vanilla. But it’s not vanilla, it’s the dying screams of your nostrils. Because the drink has a strong smell. The moment I took a whiff I reached for a coke, dropped a few stones of ice and whispered a prayer. A simple prayer asking God to not let my taste buds be so mutilated that I would not be able to enjoy a softly-layered chapatti.
Despite the chaser, which I despise, and the ice – the first sip was an assault. The drink felt angry like it had been dumped the previous night and the girlfriend had moved on overnight. It felt like I’d be drunk after the first two glasses. Actually, it felt like it would deliberately get me drunk after two glasses. But it didn’t.
Black & White is a budget whiskey that needs a little of getting used to. The first glass goes down fiercely but from the second glass, you start mellowing to it. You realize despite the hard exterior it’s a soft mushy fellow on the inside. That it has feelings and if you give it time it will spill all of them to you. Don’t go overboard though because that feeling is infectious, and you might be on your ex’s case asking them if they still love the smell of dead daffodils.
When the salary is teetering almost to zero, this is one drink you should get. From your local Wines and Spirits, it will not set you back more than a thousand bob. If it does, consider moving to a place where rent is cheaper. Also, it will come in a nice box – nice enough to convince any company you have that it’s classy. It sort of is. And the best part about it does not try and compete with the rest of the top shelves. It knows its lane, sticks to it and owns it.
As a side note, a few drinks in and the drink might make you ask for some company. Depending on your sexual orientation this might be male or female. It also might make you dance. So, if you are not doing the drink in the confines of your four walls choose a place with nice music. Nothing is unbecoming as you trying to dance to Bahati.
Would be reckless and dangerous.
Mojos, would be ideal. On a Wednesday for the African nights. Do their balcony and watch the guys down the street doing their well-choreographed dance, expecting cash handouts.