PUB REVIEW: Bahama Breeze-More a fling, Less a Keeper

PUB REVIEW: Bahama Breeze-More a fling, Less a Keeper
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When you enter this place, it feels like you’re surrounded by stalls.

Stalls that sell kids’ shoes, stalls that sell men’s clothes and a lot of mobile money agents. You’re in the middle of enterprising Kenyans working for their keep. Then this joint sits smack in the middle. An island of sorts, a stark contrast of everything around it. Carved out of wood and maintaining a slightly retro feel with their mostly wooden décor.  

There’s nothing much to write about the place. For starters, I waited fifteen minutes until a friend showed up before I got served. The waitresses were busy on one side enjoying giggles and stale stories to notice there were new patrons. We had to move to the bar counter to get their attention – which was already too late as the bartender sorted us out.

As a plus, their bar counter is designed as a boat.  Quite unique. Unlike most bars in Nairobi that go for a more urban feel that they leverage on by charging a kidney for drinks. But Bahamas scores a point with their boat-like counter.   

I am at Bahama Breeze.  I want to write about a place you can catch the World Cup.  Away from the girlfriend or your wife (and for some men, both).  A place that’s a shrine for football fans, their stress, camaraderie, and jubilance all in one melting pot. A shrine to celebrate one of football’s greatest events. 

But… it’s not a place I’d recommend. With the World Cup, you want comfort. It is going to be 90 plus minutes of sitting, craning necks and raw emotion.

It is like a girl that everyone dismisses for being too good but ends up being a silent freak.

The place does not reflect it. They have hard bamboo seats. Their couches are also uncomfortable and awkwardly done. They force you to recline all the way back and it feels like you are visiting your barber shop.  

When it comes to visuals, they are average. When I entered they were setting up a projector. On one side, it is not even centered. The images were okay but nothing really to rave about. You’re better off at home streaming on your laptop with a bottle of whatever sitting on the side. The other screens are 40 something inches parched high on the ceiling intended for guys that sit on the Ankara pillowed seats.  However, to watch you need to crane your neck at hard angles. They only have one screen at the bar counter. So, if you sit on the wrong side of the counter you will not enjoy the match.

I cannot, however, dismiss this place. It is the perfect joint for after work drinks. Moderate music, courtesy of the businesses around it and friendly prices. It is like a girl that everyone dismisses for being too good but ends up being a silent freak.

Also, their lighting is not aggressive.  Nairobi clubs have this obsession for flashing lights and smoke machines. This place has none of that. Speaking of smoke, if you are a smoker they do not allow you to whip out a ciggie and puff, you would have to walk outside for that and risk a crazy City Council askari pouncing on your ass.

On drinks, the menu says that the most expensive cocktail is 500 bob. The cheapest bottle of whiskey is Sh 3500 which is Famous Grouse.  Famous Grouse to me is a drink that fakes class.  It tries to fit in with the rest of the top shelves.  In most cases it does. But its price betrays it. However, if you are in the company of people that do not know their whiskey, you can pass it off as top shelf. Heck, with people that know squat about whiskey you can pass of Hunter’s as single malt whiskey form some island in Ireland. See what I did?  Though if you’re the guy that’s out for impressions get a Jack Daniel or a Black Label. They carry more clout and won’t set you more than 6k at this joint.

But as a precaution, they do not have a dress code but in the evening go wearing a mosquito net. The place is a festival of mosquitoes.  In my opinion, this place like its name is a breeze you just need to get here, have one or two drinks and move on. Stay longer and you will get bitter.

She’s a fling. Not a keeper. 



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