Spare Side-Chicks, Sponsors are the Devil

Patriarchy: Let's Blame it All on the Side Chicks
Reading Time: 4 minutes

“I will divorce her soon, just hold on a little longer.”

“Don’t tell anyone about the baby. I will take care of you as long as you promise to be discreet about the father.”

“Meet me in Hilton Hotel room 4. We can’t go there together. My wife may track us down. It’s too risky.”

“If I see you with a boyfriend, rest assured that I will personally drive you to hell. I can’t be taking care of you only for a man to harvest where he did not sow.”

“Put on that sexy dress I bought for you. We are going out tonight to meet my prospective business partners.”

Welcome to the hectic life of a side chic.

The funny thing about being a side chic is that you never realize just how much it damages your mind and your emotional health. You cling to a wealthy married man who can afford to pay you a posh apartment whose monthly rent is equivalent to your annual salary. The man in question treats you like a puppet. You only do what he wants. Who is fooling who?

Does a lady just wake up and decide to be a side chick? Or does society push her to be one?

Salma had her life in check. She had an average paying job at a local bank in the city center. She was beautiful by all standards and her job ensured that she interacted with people from all walks of life. She was a single mother of one and kept her curvaceous body fit by working out at a local gym in her estate- Zimmerman. The baby daddy was a typical deadbeat dad—Nairobi is full of such. Heck they could even form an investment group and beat big corporates because of their numbers! This had made her have a bitter aftertaste for relationships. She had enrolled at the University of Nairobi as she pursued her master’s degree in Economics. She was ambitious.

Jimmy was Salma’s regular client at the bank. As the credit officer, she was in charge of approving loans to customers. Jimmy was a big business man in town. His hardware business had branches across the country and was worth millions of monies. He was a serial womanizer and had an eye for beautiful women. His lustful eye had caught the attention of Salma.

“Hi Salma?”

“Yes Jimmy. How can I help you today?”

“Far from it. I am not here for business but for pleasure.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Salma, can we have dinner tonight after work?”


“Come on Salma. I just want to appreciate you for your great financial advice and approving all my business loans.”

“I get paid for it. Thank you.”

“OK. Unless you say yes I won’t move an inch from your office.”

“I will call security Mr. Jimmy”

“Go ahead pretty.”

“I don’t take No as an answer.”

“That is none of my problems.”

“Final answer?”

“Ok 6:30 p.m. sharp at Hilton hotel for one hour only.”

“That’s my girl. I’ll send my chauffeur to pick you.”

When you listen to conversations around us, the small matatu talks, and social media such as Facebook’s Kilimani Mums conversations, the so called radio breakfast shows, they only bash one side- the ladies side.

The dinner took longer than an hour of course. Mr. Jimmy was a lion who knew how to lure his prey properly. He treated her like a queen throughout. He was a smooth talker with calculated words that would make even queen Elizabeth fall for him.

The weeks that followed, he spoiled her with gifts and cash. He did not spare anything. He flew her to Seychelles for a weekend for a five-star getaway in a beach resort. The cookie was given up. She was officially Mr Jimmy’s side chick. He officially became the sponsor. He was 50. She was 29. She came back a million shilling richer.

What pushes a lady to play second fiddle to a married man while she can get her own man? Is modern life that hectic for young men that they no longer want to date hence leaving the pool to the old, rich, married men? Are young ladies totally blinded by money that they cannot risk dating a broke ass man?  We bash the side chicks so hard without castigating the men they are involved with.  When you listen to conversations around us, the small matatu talks, and social media such as Facebook’s Kilimani Mums conversations, the so called radio breakfast shows, they only bash one side- the ladies side.

A woman was almost stoned in the bible for committing adultery. The man was nowhere to be seen. Did she commit adultery alone? What was Jesus’ verdict? Let the man who hath not sinned throw the first stone. Sponsors in Kenya are not about to close business. Far from it.

The side chicks are not about to stop this lifestyle. No. Not with this generation so obsessed with materialism and slaying on Instagram.  The third world war between wives and young side chicks will continue.

However,  before we hire hooligans to stone the not so innocent side chick, let us pose and remember that the main culprit is the man who lied in front of God and man that he will be there for his wife richer or for poorer. In good shape and in bad shape- literally! When this man stops to look at the next lady’s derriere, when he stops inboxing every beautiful woman in Instagram, when he stops passing by University Way at night to look for campus girls, the career of side chicks will die a natural death. All businesses die when cash flow is suffocated or when management is evicted!

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