The older I become, the harder I find it to make new friends. Partly because it is too much work and partly because, I’m fine with the ones I already have.
In the past, I would beat myself up for not having the social skills to have tens of girlfriends. Now I ask myself, what would I do with all of them? I wouldn’t be able to keep up, plus who has the budget for ten bridesmaids? Lol. I’m not saying it’s bad to have many friends; as long as it’s a stable support system. It doesn’t matter if they’re two or fifteen, as long as they have your back.
I’ve always been surrounded by strong women. My mother is a soft-spoken empath with the strength of a lion and the patience of a monk. The world could be crumbling around her, and she’d be the pillar that stayed in place. My sister is kind to a fault, principled and the best with money. My auntie will not take bullshit lying down. Growing up, I always knew I would be okay because I was surrounded by love and strength.
I went through that “Guys are so much easier than girls to hang with” phase, and it embarrasses me to remember that version of me. Had I been wiser, I would have valued my girlfriends much more and much earlier, but I’ve learned my lessons and am a better person for it.
Your girlfriends are your lifeline, and here are a few reasons they make your life even better:
They will hold you accountable
Surround yourself with the best people, and they will keep you responsible for your goals. They will pinch you when you start to doubt yourself and remind you of your growth so far. Your girl gang wants the best for you. They want you all to be sipping margaritas and pina Coladas at the beach in Bali together because your bank accounts are fat, and you’re celebrating staying the course. You can brainstorm ideas with them. They will hold your hand and push you when you doubt creeps up.
I guarantee they have softer and warmer shoulders to cry on
And a cushy chest too. When you can’t be strong anymore, and the tears won’t stop flowing, they will be there for you. You can ugly cry in your pajamas, and they’ll bring the wine and ice cream and let you be the mess you are right now. They won’t judge you because they’ve been there and they get it. Even when you’re in the wrong, they’ll know that now’s not the time to rub it in your face. They won’t chastise you for being too emotional. They will hug you, love you, and give you space to be your worst, and then tomorrow, they will help you re-strategize.
It’s always a good time when y’all are together. It doesn’t matter if you’re discussing politics over a glass of wine, hyping each other up, or just getting drunk silly and watching E!. They will keep you updated on the latest trends. You don’t judge each other and are free to be your most authentic, messiest self. You have to agree; travel is a lot more fun when you have your girls with you.
They won’t just want you for sex
Unless you’re friends with exclusive sex benefits. Even then, emotion (read oxytocin) is what makes us women. They won’t keep up appearances to sleep with you. They will spend time with you because they enjoy your company. They will value your opinions and look forward to hearing from you even (especially) on their period.
Your Instagram profile will be lit
Do the kids still say ‘lit?’ I gave up on street lingo and new dance moves after the odi dance (ilinikataa na nikaikataa). But think of the pictures y’all will take at events, when you travel, or at home when you’re feeling fly. Every girl group has at least one girl who loves pictures, and she will raise the standards for y’all.